Nixon's Memoirs: Re-Solutions

Saturday, January 01, 2005


Happy New Year, Memoir Maniacs. It's the first of January, 2005, and it's time for my annual list of things I plan on changing this year. I'm trying to make them simple this year, so I have a better chance of sticking to them.

1: Bite me, Coca-Cola! I've been addicted to your battery acid for too freaking long, and despite my recent purchase of a "Diet Coke" had, pledging my undying devotion to your syrupy product, I will no longer drink the vile bile you've been peddling to me since birth. That's not to say you'll be losing any revenue on me, nind you, as I plan on purchasing lots of Dasani drinking water to fill the void. Got any Dasani hats to sell me?

2: Premiere Fitness, take "me" away! If only you folks had been open today, you would have sold a $3000 treadmill to me. But, you'll have to wait to cha-ching that one up until the 3rd now. I'm turning my Price-Is-Right addiction into a healthy one by resolving to spend the Hour of Fantastic Prizes on a new treadmill everytime I watch.

3: Triple Word "Score!" To keep my brain healthy as well, I've recently purchased both Scrabble Online, and the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary. I hope this will replace other mindless (and possibly blinding) online pursuits.

That's it, three little things. I already attend church on a regular basis, and am comfortable with my spiritual life and I believe the things I've listed will help improve my marriage, not that it's doing badly.

Now the only thing I need to start the year off right is a BOOMER SOONER victory in the Orange Bowl!

I hope all of you have a happy and blessed new year!


At 2:01 PM, Blogger Circa Bellum said...

Good luck with your resolutions, but please, don't drink Dasani water...if you must drink bottled water (Little Rock municipal water is among the best in the world...) at least choose a local spring water like Clear Mountain or Mountain Valley. I challenge you - taste test them against (ugh) regular bottled water and then tell me you can't tell the difference. There's a crispness to spring water that "purified" water can't touch...

At 2:55 PM, Blogger Middle_America said...

Good luck man. Slow and steady, so they tell me.
I agree with the other commenter. I can't stand Dasani. We drink Aquafina.

At 5:12 PM, Blogger The American Warmonger said...

I'm stting here with a 2 litre of the evil syrupy product known as Diet Coke. I'm an addict. That's supposed to be the first step right? Admission.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

At 6:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I lived in Fort Smith, I could not figure out why *anyone* would want to *buy* water! The water in that area is *so* good.

Then we moved, and the water here is horrible!

I agree - don't do "purified" - get SPRING water if you must *buy* water!

Oh, and another online place to play Scrabble - :)



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